Team Mole-Hunting Champions
First of all, you have to have another cat to make a team. I was only able to have my brother on my team, so there wasn’t much choice.
But his skinny legs were useful. We caught more moles than any other cats in the neighborhood, so we were declared the Champions. Hooman neighbors would walk over to our backyard to watch us. They were always impressed.
We figured out a great mole-hunting technique. Ira would be at one end of a long mole tunnel and would stick a skinny leg down through the soft dirt into the passage.
This would scare the stinky mole so bad, it would stupidly run to the other end of the tunnel to try and escape.
And I was waiting when it stuck its stupid stinky head above the tunnel.
WHAM! That was the last thing the smelly stinky mole ever heard.
And then I ate him.
Sometimes I’d put my paw into the tunnel. And the smelly stupid mole would run to the other end of the tunnel. And then Ira would eat him.
So goodbye, moles. If you smelled better, I might feel sorry for you. But you smell like really dirty dirt.
(Reference: My second book, How to Hunt Moles By Abishag. My first book was Biography of a Mouse. Please buy the set.)
Editor’s Note: I changed ‘Championships’ to Champions in the title, as that sounded better. I think Abishag would okay the change.
“…it stuck its stupid stinky head…” Kudos!
Her vocabulary may be a little stilted – or repetitive – when it comes to moles. But thank you for the compliment.